Save Your Marriage Before It Begins

A wise man once said the best way to avoid divorce was to avoid marrying the kind of person you would want to divorce. Take time to get to know each other, to discuss values, beliefs, choices and important decisions that may end up being deal breakers in the future. Those things that in the end make people decide, I just cant live like this anymore.

One of the best investments of your time, in the busy period when you are preparing for your wedding, is to plan for your marriage. Your wedding hopefully will be a wonderful day that you will treasure for the rest of your life. Your marriage on the other hand could last you a lifetime if you are prepared and committed to creating a marriage worth savoring.

The best time to prepare for marriage is months before you marry. Ideally you will both be open and willing to learn about your relationship and interested in building on what works to strengthen that relationship. Taking time to form good habits and healthy ways of relating early in your relationship, will mean far less heartache and frustration later on. Nipping little problems in the bud, can stop them from becoming a full blown crisis years later.

Unfortunately many choose to ignore the early frustrations and incompatibilities, thinking that because they love each other those things wont matter. Over the years these annoyances accumulate until one day there is that final straw that breaks the relationship.

The very best time to pay attention to incompatibilities is before getting married. It is important to discuss how your life together is going to look, feel and be. Tackle important topics like finance, children, religion, careers, extended family, separate interests, sex, and housekeeping. If you share your expectation with each other, you will have an ideal opportunity to clear up potential disappointments and frustrations before they occur.

If there are major areas or values in your life upon which you cannot agree, these are not going to disappear just because you get married. It is far better to work these out before getting married. That way you can discover the deal breakers before making the deal.

I am not suggesting that you go into marriage preparation looking for reasons to break up. For the vast majority of couples breaking up is not the answer. However, this is a perfect time to heal areas of your relationship that need tweaking. There are very few unfixable concerns; if you approach them with the attitude of, lets work this out together and find a way that this can work for both of us.

A marriage preparation course, when approached with an open and committed attitude, can start you on a path toward a satisfying and fulfilling marriage.

Susan Derry
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course.
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

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