Pots of Marriage Advice

Thanksgiving is the time when people often put the big pot in the little one as the old saying goes. Unexpected guests, too many social obligations, drain on finances and in-laws may cause a marriage partner to become a seething caldron. When marriage partners begin to boil, emotionally, their feelings begin to affect all areas of their relationship. Before a couple realizes what is happening, divorce begins to stew in the marriage pot.

When married couples desire success, they will seek many ways to reduce the heat of their marriage pots. One way is to seek advice from role models like pastor, parents or respected friends. Ask them how they overcome heated arguments in marriage. Turn down the heat around the marriage stew pot by talking and listening in a joint decision-making process. Discuss how much money that can be used for the holidays. Use your God-given creativity to stay within the allotted amount. Sometimes less money in the pot can bring about a more meaning experience. Consider what brought you together in the first place. Recall the mixture of love, trust and faithfulness that you have placed in the marital pot. Determine if you want a permanent marriage. Add your prayers to God to the boiling pot.

Seek to become the best mate that you can by giving some sacrificial time. Even during the holidays, take the pressure off of the marriage pot with some time to yourselves. Forgo a social obligation; send the kids to grandmas house. (Shell love having them for only 4-5 hours.) Turn off the telephones, televisions and computers. Reduce the lighting in the house and play some romantic music. Light scented candles. (Use caution because you dont want a fire spoiling your time together.) Start with a personal chore like brushing her hair or clipping his toenails. Take a cozy bath or shower and towel off each other. Massage each other with a soothing vitamin E cream or oil. Remember your wedding vows, the fun times and things that has personal meaning. A pot of sacrificial time will cover a multitude of mistakes in a marriage stew. After nearly 50 years of marriage, this pot of advice has been proved to be successful for us.

During the holidays couples should put all their problems into a big pot and seek ways to reduce the heat of the marriage pressure cooker. After open discussion, those who strive for a successful marriage are challenged to place their differences in a smaller pot on the back burner and cut off the heat. When their pot of marriage is completed, they can say that they successfully served a marriage dish that lasted until the death of one of the spouses or one that has lasted into eternity.

Pat Strawbridge is a graduate of the University of Mississippi and the Mississippi University for Women and has done postgraduate work at University of Tennessee, Knoxville in Home Economics with emphasis in family relations. She and her husband, Drennon, live in Cleveland, TN near their son, Mike and his wife, Janice, and two grandsons Scott and Will. White Bible Ceremonies for Couples: Advice for Successful Marriage is available in manual form with instructions or CD with photos, instructions and suggestions http://whitebible.blogspot.com.

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