Kicking the 12 Step Habit

It is common for people who have completed alcohol rehab, and remained sober for a year or two, to begin to wonder why they are continuing to attend various groups and meetings. Its a good question. While some people may need, or prefer, to continue their participation, others can safely occupy themselves with other activities. The question is, which are you?

The answer is easy, though the change process may not be. Generally, those who can kick the 12 Step Habit are those who have something other than alcohol to build their lives around. As obvious as that may sound to many of you, it isnt a given.

There are good reasons why 12 Step programs work for a small minority of alcoholics. The primary one is that they insist that you maintain your alcohol focused life. This allows you to stop drinking without upsetting the balance in your life and the lives of those around you. Roles may shift bartenders become transformed into sponsors, for example, and drinking buddies into AA pals but you, and alcohol, remain the designated problem and you can still escape other problems through your continuing focus on working your program. Family members and employers may no longer complain about your absences and you, along with the rest of us, are safer on the roads and highways, but little else has changed in your life in any fundamental way.

That brings us back to the question of you giving up your 12 Step affiliation. Is it possible? Is it desirable? Is it smart?

You will, of course, have to make that decision for yourself. The risks of giving up your routine are that you will slip back into your old drinking habits. The problem with any change is that we tend to create vacuums when we fail to replace old habits with better ones. Your 12 Step habit is less destructive than your drinking behaviors and the key to ending your 12 Step dependence is to replace it with even more productive and rewarding activities. If you do that then there is little risk of you relapsing to either drinking or endless recovery.

Successful change is a product of consideration, research, planning, and action. You probably found that moving from a drinking focused life to a talking about drinking focused life was not as big a change as you expected. But removing the alcohol entirely as your central focus will be a considerably bigger adjustment. This shift will create a major void which you would be well advised to fill gradually as you wean yourself away from the routines which have gotten you through the past months or years. This is not a time for abrupt departures from current habits.

As you begin to move towards other activities you can expect to encounter opposition. Family members who had an investment in your drinking and later in your recovery may resist yet another change especially one that threatens the status quo that 12 Step recovery generally supports. Your meeting buddies will, if they notice at all, feel threatened by a possibility that you neednt be recovering forever they have been comfortable ignoring or rejecting.

You can minimize these reactions by moving gradually. Instead of going to three meetings a week, try substituting a visit to the gym for one. Youre easing out, not dropping out, and you are substituting one healthy activity for another. As you become more comfortable with your new involvements so will those around you. This is real change, not merely the substitution of one alcohol based activity for another. Give yourself, and those around you, time to adjust.

Real recovery means extinguishing a set of behaviors and developing a more rewarding life. Its the best insurance you can get against a return to the bad old days. Yes, you will be tempted occasionally, but having a life which has no room for alcohol is the best way to keep it locked out.

Edward Wilson has developed alternative alcohol recovery and moderation programs since 1990. He is the co-founder and clinical director of Your Empowering Solutions, Inc. in southern California. http://www.non12step.com

Alcohol Detox Center - A Place for Cleansing the Alcohol Bloodstream
An alcohol detox center is a place for quitting alcoholism. A person suffering from alcohol addiction can find help in a detox center. When a person checks in the center, he goes through the process of detoxifying his body and mind from alcoholic s...

Ankle Weights - Protect Your Ankle by Wearing the Weights Properly
Training for strength and endurance can be difficult, but there are ways to hasten the process. Exercise equipment such as ankle weights aid you in your strength and endurance training, but you have to know how to use them properly to avoid injury.Ho...

Why Undergo An Alcohol Detox at Home?
Here are some people who prefer to do alcohol detox at home, while there are others who prefer going to the rehab center to get the traditional treatment. There are some benefits of going to the rehab center, such as the fact that you will not be the...

Personal Development Guide Part 2 - Break Free of the Prison
Step Two: Decide to break free of the prison. Realise that you are in charge of your own life. You now know that you can change your life. Now decide to do it!By subscribing to the limited ways of thinking identified above, you have imprisoned yourse...

How to Quit Smoking Weed - You Can Quit Smoking Pot Forever
Marijuana while only a "soft drug" compared to the likes of cocaine, heroin and others can still be a very addictive and destructive drug. Many people who long to quit smoking pot find their lives revolve around marijuana and it becomes a habit that ...

How to Transfer Domain Names
Transferring domain names was like a foreign language to me up until recently when I sold one of my businesses. Then I had to take a fast track in learning how to transfer a domain name quickly!And Im assuming Im not the only one out there that would...

Warning Signs Of Alcoholism - Are You A Victim Of It?
Alcohol abuse and Alcoholism though seem to have the same meaning, yet they are quite different from each other. A person abusing alcohol might not be an alcoholic or might not fall in the category of alcoholism. And to avoid such further confusion, ...

How To Clean A Hammock
Hammocks are designed to withstand frequent outdoor and recreational uses. However, there are times when we have left it out all summer and not protected it from the elements. Or it has been in storage all winter and when we take it out to use it in ...

Alcoholism Facts - The Unknown, Uncommon Facts
There are many facts about alcoholism which are not known to everyone. Several books and journals on alcoholism and alcohol abuse provide useful information and facts for the individuals and families who have doubts over certain things relating to al...

Discover Alcoholism in Marriage and Learn to Live With an Alcoholic You Love
Alcoholism in marriage is a great recipe for disaster. There are only a very few things that can tear a marriage apart like alcoholism. And if your spouse has developed a drinking habit only after you got married then the problem can have significant...